It’s midnight, and why am I up, you ask? My older sister gave me an idea for a fundraiser. Bracelets! Simple beaded bracelets. She sent a picture and they looked cute and fun to make. I went to the nearest and only craft store in town (small town life). Thanks to an amazing sale, a hundred dollars and an hour, I now have way more than my fair share of beads. Hey, I saved $200; talk about divine timing. That’s a win, right? Being inspired, crafting, laughing with my sisters as they make fun of me taking a simple idea and running with it: it’s great!
After making one bracelet, which took way longer than I thought it would (those beads are slippery little suckers), I started to think about all the other things I should be doing. Like sending out more support letters, reaching out to my friends and family, following up with the one and only support letter I have sent out and . . . well, you get the picture. There are a lot of important things to be done and I am avoiding them. It’s not the bracelet making or yard sales, car wash kinda fundraising I am stressing about. It is the personally reaching out to people and churches that I find myself procrastinating over.
Instead of focusing on all the things I should be doing (and becoming overwhelmed and stressed) I am going to focus on what God has provided for me so far in this journey. Like my friend that donates her time and resources to make and sell face masks for me. She has raised $400 so far! My coworker shares my blog every day on facebook and reaches out to all of her contacts and asks them to help support me! Another coworker bought me a couple lightweight wool shirts to take with me on my trip! My sisters helped with the bracelets, and my Mom and Dad are going above and beyond planning a murder mystery dinner. I am so blessed with so many people who are helping out and who care.
Looking at all God has done so far is humbling. But there’s that nagging feeling that sneaks up on ya: I should be doing more. Bracelets are a fun way to make a little money, but it’s not the bread and butter here. Sadly, those bracelets won’t result in the $18,700. I have to get out there and do the hard work. Money just won’t magically appear into my account. Huh…I could have sworn that is how it worked…
What I seem to be lacking is courage to do the big scary important things I need to do. I remembered a passage that has me awake late tonight. “Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.” (Proverbs 12:11) The misconception I was chasing is that money will magically appear into my account. It’s so weird and scary how the enemy can sneak in unnoticed and use your own faith against you sometimes. The devil was using my faith in God to distract me from other tasks. I was allowing worry and fear to seep in. I am so nervous about reaching out. Even so, I am not going to let that fear hold me back anymore. Joke’s on you Satan. I am going to work my land! “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Proverbs 8:31) Those two passages have lit a fire in me and I am ready to take on the challenge. Knowing Jesus is with me is all the strength I need.
I tend to lean more towards humor in favor of deep meaningful words of wisdom. But everyone has stress. It can take hold and sometimes you don’t even realize it. It can be disguised as a fun activity that you are substituting for something else, or it can let anger take hold. Sometimes you just shut down. Remember: talk to Jesus. Just talk to Him. It doesn’t have to be about anything special, it doesn’t even have to be about what is bothering you. Start with something as simple as, “Hey what’s up?” And then just see where that leads to. I love to just strike up a conversation with Him letting Him know what’s going on and all that jazz.
I say, “hey,” and I just go off into some random weird thoughts and stories and then the deep stuff will come out and I find myself sharing all that is bothering me. Sometimes the hard stuff never comes up and I am just talking to our loving Father. We have some good times. But even if we never actually tell Him what’s bothering us, He knows what we’re feeling and what’s in our hearts and He is just happy to hear from his children. Y’all talk to God. Read your bible. It has brought so much comfort and even correction in my life. We’re not perfect and never will be. We are loved despite our imperfections by Love Himself, The Creator of the universe, Jesus! If that doesn’t bring a smile to your face I don’t know what will.
Wow! This is not how I saw this going. Let’s roll with it, shall we? Catch y’all on the flip side.
Good night, Friends.
Oh, also if anyone would like a bracelet, ya girl’s gotcha!
