Patience in the mystery

So, my last blog was about me not feeling like I was doing enough and how I was going to get to work. Well I got to work and got a lesson in patience. With the upcoming deadline, I was getting a bit nervous that I wasn’t going to make it. The thing is I knew I was going to raise the first $5,000 by the deadline May 11, it was the second deadline of June 25 that filled my mind with concern. I mean I had a little over $1,000 to go before I reached the first goal and was thinking “it has taken me this long to just raise $4,000, how on earth am I going to raise the second $5,000 in just another month?  I felt that anyone who was going to help had already helped and no one  else was going to. I had reached out to my church and it was taking them a long time to respond. I started to get concerned. The whole time I kept hearing and feeling God say don’t worry I’ve got you. However, I was being stubborn. My insecurity was starting to shine through and I was in a full panic. But guess what,  God came through like He always does. He was trying to show me just how good He is, How it is in his timing not mine and that He didn’t hold my doubt against me. All my panicking was for nothing. 

We put these mason jars out at work for people to donate either spare change or whatever they feel they want to add. This past week, our customers have been so excited about this mission trip.  Words of encouragement and promises to pray for me. They have not just been throwing spare change into the jar but tens and twenties even a couple of fifties! I was so grateful but my doubt and fear started creeping back.  Why are strangers more excited and willing to support me more than friends and family?  I have had several friends and family support this mission trip and are very excited to hear about my calling to serve but not as many as I thought would. God is teaching me to adjust my expectations and to learn to be patient. Well yea, here’s where that lesson became obvious,  yesterday was my second  big fundraising event. A Murder Mystery Dinner. The first event went great! Bringing in a good chunk of my goal. This was at the beginning of the month. The second event brought in even more than the first! I had friends and family donate not just for the event but extra. I even had people who didn’t  attend give me money! I reached my goal! It happened so fast and suddenly. Not only did I reach the goal, I got extra towards the next goal.  Then to my relief, my church contacted me. God truly wanted me to understand that learning patience and waiting on His timing while adjusting my expectations not only shows my faith in Him but allows me to have peace when things don’t seem to be meeting my expectations.

 One of the girls on my squad reminded me that Satan was the one dissuading me, not the people I thought I was frustrated with. Sometimes, Satan will use people as a way to get under our skin, discouraging and frustrating us which distracts us from the work God has set out for us. I must be onto something if Satan is working this hard to keep me from it. She also reminded me to read what God says about patience and peace, things I have been lacking this month. 

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

 “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” Psalm 37:7

 “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” Hebrews 10:36 

God is greater than all my doubt and frustrations. I am not going to lie y’all I was not shone in the greatest of light this month.  Sometimes tasks and  life can be  harder than I think it should be and things just kept getting thrown at me from all directions.  Things unexpected and unprepared for can challenge the peace God wants for me but if I allow myself to accept God’s lesson’s it will help me grow in faith, patience and grace. I feel things are looking up as I learn these lessons. God has reassured me it is going to be okay. He has got me and I will have the money to complete not just the first deadline but the entire goal.  I have realized I just needed to be patient and extend more grace. These are things I wasn’t aware I would be learning on my mission to serve God in his calling to reach others with the message of His Love but I am so grateful to be growing not only in faith but as a person. While some may think it strange for me to share this personal journey all my doubts and fears etc., But, I for one know that God is glad I am showing my human weakness so others who share the same doubts and fears may know they are not alone in the struggle to have a closer walk with God.  If I can do it, anyone can and together with God all things are possible, even overcoming our weaknesses. Well that’s my lesson for the day. God is Good, All The Time.  Here are some pictures from my Murder Mystery Dinner.   Enjoy and God Bless!